thewugtest:

sad-gay-potato:

thewugtest:

if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

• a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going
  
• wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that
• they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not
• a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting
• a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed
• if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now
• young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it
• letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

I wanna know who did this research.

well, i did!

my boyfriends roommates have a wolf and all of these are accurate af

(via apricots-and-plupples)

honexjams:

therubbleoroursins:

I’m fascinated by the fact that Phineas and Ferb is a show that actually exists
Like
I can understand how someone could have come up with the idea of an animated show about stepbrothers trying to find cool ways to spend their summer vacation
And from there I can see how the characters of Candace, Isabella, Beauford, Baljeet, Jeremy, and Stacy came about
But at what godforsaken point in the thought process did someone go, “Hey, what if there’s an ongoing subplot about their pet who’s a secret agent trying to stop a German guy from channeling his anger towards his abusive parents into conquering the tri-state area?”
Just
How

hes not german hes drusselsteinian check your Facts

(via little-olliepop)

thegestianpoet:

thegestianpoet:

i will tell anyone who listens about how besides being a loose adaptation of the illiad, the spongebob squarepants movie is about coming out

replace every mention of “being a kid” or “being a goofy goober” with “being gay” and the spongebob sqaurepants movie is about a young gay man who is denied a promotion by his homophobic boss, gets drunk at a gay bar with his friend the night after and comes to work absolutely sauced, then goes on a journey to try to deny his true nature complete with scenes where he and his friend try to fit in at a masculine gay-bashing biker bar, he grows fake facial hair (a “beard”?) and attempts to perform hypermasculinity unsuccessfully, just before he and his friend are captured and die they come out to each other and they cry a tear in the shape of a heart which saves their lives and ride back in victory on the back of david hassellhoff’s butt and then have a glam rock musical number where they radically celebrate themselves and at this point i’m not even making changes to the metaphors here that’s just what happens literally in the movie spongebob is gay

(Source: t-gp, via octicorn)

bunnywork:

angrydumbbitch:

Don’t be afraid to destroy men’s lives over crimes they chose to commit.

LOUDER

(via rahnunculus)

garashirs:

other people buying clothes: i chose this based on my hair color, skin tone, the time of year, the recommendations of 10 different fashion magazines and my horoscope

me buying clothes:

(Source: hexglyphs, via beastmac)